Political Ranting

As you may or may not know, a new mosque intended to be built a few blocks away from Ground Zero is creating controversy on a national scale. A majority of Americans believe that the mosque should be moved farther away from the site. They consider having a mosque so close to Ground Zero spiteful because radical, extremist Muslims attacked us on 9/11. It's too soon, too sensitive.

To me, this issue boils down to two essential rights of every American. The first is the right to private property. Anyone is allowed to own land and do with with it as they please (of course in accordance with every other law). No one can force these Muslims to move their mosque (which is actually a community center. My guess is the press is using mosque to make it sound more controversial). Also, if a government official becomes a key player encouraging the move, one begins to question the status of separation of church and state. The second right is the freedom of religion. This is clearly discrimination based on terrible stereotypes. They should be free to worship where and when they want. Some people have been quoted as questioning whether the right to practice Islam should be included in the right to practice religion. I won't even get in to how hateful I consider that. It's disappointing that modern Americans think on the same level as those who led the Crusades.

Conservative commentators have commonly related this situation to having Nazi meetings next to the Holocaust Museum. It's a thought, but it's the wrong analogy. This is more like being angry that the German embassy is close to the Holocaust Museum (which no one is angry about - for good reason). It's a generalization that demonizes an entire group of people for something that a small fraction of them committed, though it's reasonable to consider the Islam practiced by Al Qaeda is hardly the same thing as actual Islam. As John Oliver pointed out, under this generalizing logic, no Catholic churches should be built near schools or playgrounds for fear of the priests taking advantage of the children.

At first, I was happy with Obama's endorsement of the center. Only the next day, he sort of retracted his statement with noncommittal language. Obviously, he attempted political cover on a hot issue in which a vast majority of Americans disagree with him. Lame.

For me, this issue is simple. The Muslims who would go to the community center would not be members of Al Qaeda. They are not interested in harming or spiting the United States. They are interested in practicing their religion peacefully. They have every right to do so. Americans should take this as a healing opportunity and a chance to show the world that our country holds freedom to its highest standard and accepts persons of all creeds and colors. We should lead by example in the world.

I leave Brazil tomorrow!!

Only two plane rides separate me from the United States! I am actually excited, not because I will be going back to Salt Lake, but because arriving in the US means I am that much closer to going back to school.

Uh Oh. My nerd is showing.

Hear me out. Last year at Wellesley, I learned so much about myself and to be honest, I liked a lot of what I discovered. I feel more at home there than I really have anywhere else. Sure, the school isn't perfect for everyone, but it never did me wrong. I love it. I also can't help but feel a little ambitious and ready to work after reading 1776 and watching 3 seasons of the West Wing. That show makes being smart look so easy.

I'm currently reading the Cider House Rules by John Irving. I've read most of it before so I thought I'd bring it along on the Brazil trip to try and finish it. Unfortunately, I won't get to the portion I never read because I fully plan on abandoning ship (so to speak) when I get back to the states. No offense John Irving. It's good, I swear. I guess I am in a revolutionary mood. I'll probably read the book about Napoleon I never got to in June.

Anyway, when I am settled in Salt Lake, I will probably write a review of my trip. There's a lot to think about but I'm sure I'll have more than enough time on the flight to think about it all. I'm hoping they have good in flight movies. Actually, I am sort of depending on it. Don't let me down Delta.

God has a name and its name is Google & 1776

I am back in my aunt and uncle's apartment in Sao Paulo. It's great to be here again because they are really active, interesting people and also give me access to wireless internet. I cannot sing the praises of the internet enough. With it, I have all the information in the world at my fingertips. For example, today I was curious and learned that Chopin died in the mid 1800s of tuberculosis and was in fact, Polish. I always thought he was French, but as it turns out, his father was French. Thank you internet for setting me straight.
In other news, I am going on a Led Zeppelin/Rolling Stones binge. I can't help it. They are just so good. I am also in love with the Maroon 5 song "Misery" and Robbie Williams' song "Tripping."

In only 4 days I will be back in the US. As you may or may not know, I am currently reading 1776 by David McCullough. It's about the first year of the American Revolution and the leadership of George Washington. I don't know why, but reading about all of this makes me feel a little sentimental. There is something about the beginning of our country that I find so beautiful. The compromises that our Founder's settled were incredible. I highly doubt that if you stuck 55 men in a room today, they would come up with the constitution, or that any 33 year old today could write the Declaration of Independence. And beyond eloquence, these men had something more. They had inspiration. They were fighting for a noble cause. I think what I find beautiful about the American Revolution is that it wasn't simply a war for conquest, or for some substance that would make everyone rich. It was about principles like freedom and the rights each person has in government. If you read the writings of say George Washington or John Adams they aren't encouraged by greed but by the prospect of independence and liberty for their fellow colonials. Living in America today, it's difficult to envision leaders with such noble motivations but knowing that it's possible gives you hope.

5 more days!

Time snuck up on me once again, as it never fails to do. In 5 days I will be on the plane headed back to Salt Lake City. Going home will actually be a little bit of a relief. I have been spoiled with technology and now I cant live without it. It wouldnt be as bad if I could communicate with people without it, but I really cant here. Its been my link back to my friends who I have been missing all summer.
Going home will also be a bit of a nuisance too. I have to adjust to the 3 hour time zone again, only to have to adjust to Eastern Standard Time two weeks later. Ill also arrive in Atlanta at 530 am.......Groooooooooooosssssssss.
But enough complaining. I have a list of over 30 things to do when I get home, although most of them are just things I want to google and dont have the patience to wait for the internet to tell me about them here. Its just toooooo slow. Okay well I dont have much else to say. OH - other than I literally have not been shopping once since I have been there, so dont be mad if I dont get you anything as a souvenir.

That is all.

As Promised...

... here is the story of my experience in Poços de Caldas.

I arrived midday on Friday. We spent most of the day just walking around the downtown area and the park. My cousin Rogerio took me to see my uncle (or former uncle? Theyre divorced, how does that work?). He was nothing like how I remember him. He lost a lot of weight and looked like one of those guys that never got over the fact they werent in a successful rock band. Anyway, the conversation was very candid between him and Rogerio, and all of a sudden, the topic became my other cousin's virginity. When she finally showed up (with her boyfriend) he did give her a little talk about it. Seriously, wrong place wrong time. You didnt have to understand what was being said to sense the tension in the room. Later that night, my aunt took me to dinner with her friends. One of her friends has a daughter my age who knows English. We had a great conversation so I was really glad that I went.

My cousin Rogerio didnt have as many hilarious English quotes this time. He actually baffled me. I cant understand him as a person. He is so proud of his Disney DVD collection. He showed it to me, and then tried to show me again 3 or 4 times. He asks me the same questions over and over and over but I cannot figure out why. Is it simply because he cannot remember? Or is there a deeper problem? For example he asks me hourly if I like the Lion King. He burned me Harry Potter DVDs (I got excited here) in Portuguese (and lost it here). So he asked me what Disney DVDs I wanted burned. I told him the Lion King and the Little Mermaid. He told me to pick 3 more so I could have 5. I did. He ended up burning the Return of Jafar for me. And thats it. At dinner, he asked me if I like Coke because he was going shopping and wanted to know what drinks to buy. I said I did, so he bought me a 2 Liter Coke. But today, he asked me again if I like Coke as if he didnt recall ever buying the Coke the day before. We have conversations, so I know he understands most of what Im saying, which makes the whole situation more confusing. He also decides to tell me secrets about himself. Im virtually a stranger so that sort of blows my mind too. Although I suppose I am a safe bet since I dont even have the capacity to tell anyone close to him anything.

Last night we went to my aunt's friend's house, where the girl who spoke English lives. She invited her friend who also spoke English over. They are such nice girls and I learned a lot from them. They are also really interesting and had a lot to say which is obviously great for conversation. They ended up inviting me to go out with them after dinner. It was so much fun. I felt like a normal 19 year old again. We wanted to play pool but the place was really crowded so we didnt. We went to a restaraunt/pub type place, ate some food, and talked. I got back to my aunt's house around 2. I let myself in with my key, and went straight to bed. Of course now its like some joke with my aunt that I was out past like I dont know, 9. Like I am some wild girl who comes in late and plays pool at bars even though literally nothing happened other than myself having actual conversation with cool people. The only reason this makes me mad is because theyre going to tell my dad but forget that its a joke (they know reality) and then Im going to have to explain the real version.

Anyway, I am back in São João and things are going to settle down again. I watched some of Space Jam in Portuguese. I miss that movie. GOOOOOD times, the 90s. Good times.

More Info to come

Hello everyone! I am in Poços de Caldas with my aunt and two cousins. It has been really nice so far and honestly a bit of a relief since my cousins know English. I know that it sounds so lame, but just having a conversation with someone really brightens my day because I haven't done it in so long. You wouldnt think that you could take speech for granted, but you definitely can. Oh and I definitely have stories to tell regarding my cousins, but I feel awkward typing them up in their living room so those will have to wait.
I am currently reading 1776 by David McCullough. As usual, his writing is amazing and detailed. Everytime I pick up a good history book I feel like there is so much more I want to read. Its such a pity that the library system in Salt Lake is so terrible or else I probably would be reading a lot more interesting things.
I am completely blanking out right now. I cant think of a single thing I was going to write about. SIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. Okay well I will have more information soon regarding this little trip to Poços and probably some more interesting anecdotes. Tchao!

Using the Internet While I Have It

The place I am working out at has chickens and rabbits roaming around everywhere. They seriously just walk around wherever they want. Today, I went into the locker room and there was a huge rabbit sitting in there. It was bigger than my cats, white with grey ears. Its kinda cute. I started wishing that it would lead me to Wonderland or something.

My aunt Rosali and my Uncle Marcio have been here for the past few days. Marcio is hilarious. Yesterday he pretended to be Clint Eastwood and ran around pretending to shoot Cherokees. SOOO funny. Rosali has been really really nice to me too. But the company has given my grandma some extra confidence that Im not sure how to react to. Sometimes she mentions my mom, and I cant tell if shes making fun of her or not. But they always end up laughing afterwards. Obviously, I take the cynical view of things, assume they are making fun or her, and take offense. If they are making fun or her, that is possibly the rudest thing EVER.

Im starting to get worried becayse I am so close to being done with Wicked. Its a pretty good book, but I do prefer the musical storyline. Its a little less intense. Anyways, my point is, after Wicked, I only have 2 books left! There arent any bookstores that sell English books soooooo I guess I will just have to read slower, considering I have 2 weeks left.

Something that has been super super wonderful is sleeping! I know that sounds awful, but its true. I have a couple of dreams per night and theyre usually really awesome. Ive been friends with Cher, Kathy Griffin, and the cast of the West Wing. I could deal with them as friends in real life! haha

Read Me!

Hello all! I hope everything is going well in the US or wherever you are. Things have certainly been interesting here. I wouldn't say that things are particularly exciting. In fact, things are rather predictable and routine. Occasionally though, I happen upon some gem of a story. I share this treasure chest with you.

So I have this cousin named Rogerio. My sister and I have wonderful memories of him asking us everyday "you like cat? you like dog?" and also breaking a chair just by sitting on it. So when I found out that I would be seeing him again, I wondered what delicious muffin basket he would deliver. He did ask me if I like cats and dogs, as if he didn't already know from asking me 600 times a day when I was here last time. His English has greatly improved beyond pet vocabulary since then so now he can ask me all about what I like, dislike, think and so on. I was being interviewed by him when this happened:
Rogerio: You think dog is sexy?
Me: Um...What?!
R: Why not?
M: um, thats not what that means...
R: What you like on men? Hair, eyes, smile?
M: Uhh...
R: I like fish.
(Me wide eyed)
R: You know, to eat. Hamburgers and pasta!
A comedian could not have timed it better.

I have recently begun to train with the local 17 and under volleyball team. They aren't very good, but it's really about getting back into volleyball for me. And to be honest, it's excellent entertainment. I'm like their pet. They all like to crowd around me and ask me questions. Strangely enough, the first question they always ask me is whether or not I have a boyfriend. I'm tempted to say yes, because I am curious about what their follow up questions are. That could get awkward QUICK. I think its also the cutest thing in the world when they try to speak English. When I leave, they get together and yell "BYEEEE!!" It's funny. One of the girls looks like Natalie Wood, and another girl kind of looks like if Cher's current plastic surgery face was born as a real person, grew up, and then gained 20 pounds. At one point today, I had to control myself from laughing because I thought to myself "I am playing volleyball with Natalie Wood and Cher!" Then I reminded myself that I am an old gay man and went about my business.

Speaking of old gay men, the other day in the grocery store, they were playing Memories from Cats over the loud speaker. I thought that was semi hilarious.

My Portuguese lessons have been going pretty well. My teacher isn't bad by any means, but she did remind me of how lucky I have been with the language teachers I have had. I don't care what anyone says, Mr. Dury was a great teacher. And I don't even have to convince anyone about Hans or Kruse because everyone knows they personify the bomb diggity.

Brazilians make a common mistake when it comes to speaking English. You see, in Portuguese, the letter "R" is pronounced like an "H." So they often incorrectly apply this rule to English words. My favorite mistakes have been: Head Sox, the Hamones, I'm Heady, Handom, and Helatives. I'll keep helatives. I like that.

I'm getting better at understading Portuguese. Practicing with the volleyball team helps, in addition to the lessons obviously. Ironically, my Grandma is the hardest person to understand. She sort of has that natural, old person slur when she speaks, and also she makes no sense. I swear to god, sometimes she mumbles nonsense words and then waves her hands around in the air. She also really enjoys telling people that I don't speak Portuguese. I appreciate it sometimes. You know, if someone talks to me, she steps in and lets them know. But sometimes, she literally tells strangers for no reason, which is a little frustrating because I like to blend in as much as possible. And occasionally, these moments have consequences. I'll give you two examples, both from the grocery store.

One time, we were buying, I don't know...yogurt? And she asked what kind I wanted or something, but I wasn't sure how to respond. She was frustrated, so she turned to the lady standing, or should I say hunching, next to us and said "She doesn't speak Portuguese (NONSENSE WORDS)." I swear to god, this woman was the escaped Hunchback of Notre Dame and was not all there if you know what I mean. She just turned and creepily stared at me. Thanks Grandma. I wanted yogurt, not Quasimodo's affection.

The next situation was in the bread section. In Brazil, they have bread specialists who help you pick out every kind of fresh bread. I don't even remember why she tolf this girl I am American, but this girl proceeded to yelll across the entire store to her friend in the deli section that I speak English. It seemed like everyone just stopped and looked at me. Apparently her friend knew a little English and she wanted to know if she wanted to try it out on me. Her friend was smart enough to be embarassed by being addressed in front of the whole store. I too jumped on her humiliated bandwagon as the token foreigner everyone now had license to stare at.

In all seriousness though, being here definitely has its downsides. In Salt Lake City, I was sort of upset because I didn't have any friends around. Here I have the same problem, only the town is a quarter of the size and I've added a language barrier. It's not easy and certainly not action packed. Whenever I think about Wellesley, I smile. Being away from everyone has really made me appreciate the little things. I can't tell you how much I would give just to sit down with a couple of friends and watch a movie or have a good laugh. Thankfully, I've had one savior. It should come as no surprise to anyone that it's Liz Lemon. They show 30 Rock here! In English! So every night at 10, I get a little taste of what I miss so much: good laughs and America. Okay wow that sounded so corny, but seriously. America is awesome. We often forget how much that country has done for us because we're so focused on what's wrong with it.

It's also kind of weird being here with my Grandma. My dad says she wants a relationship with me, but for some reason that fact is hard for me to accept. I met her a couple of times 10 years ago, but I hardly remember a thing about it. I remember Rogerio (obviously) and I remember thinking that the Christ the Redeemer statue would fall down because it was too big, but that's it really. In the 10 years since then, I haven't heard a word from her. No happy birthday, no say hi to her for me. Nothing. I'm sure she knows all about me from my dad, but the lack of communication really strikes me. I admit that I didn't communicate either, but that just begins the argument of whether the child is responsible for that sort of thing in the grandparent relationship dynamic. In other words, I feel like I dont know her at all and I dont know how possible it is to really get to know someone with a language barrier. By the way, my dad told me her foot was hurting so I should massage it. UMM Mgross. I wouldnt even do that for a parent. Does that make me a bad person, or just hygienically sane?

I hope you all are doing well! Leave me a message on facebook so I can hear all about your lovely exciting lives. Miss you all!

ps: I accidentally left my itunes on once while we were out so when we came back, Gay Fish from South Park was playing really loud. Its a funny song, but thank god they dont speak English or else they would have been welcomed home with (pardon the language) "have an orgy in your motherfucking fish tank." Oops. hahahah

Something to do

Wow. I have been posting like crazy! It must be so boring for all one of my readers to read this because I am literally writing down anything that comes to my mind. Theres nothing else for me to do but read and draw, which can get tiresome after a while. Here are some of my recent observations:

1. I feel like a huge nerd because I just heard a waltz playing in the background on tv and knew what it was. Emporers Waltz by Strauss if you were wondering.

2. Id hate to burst everyones bubble, but Brazilian women really arent that pretty. I came here expecting to be overshadowed by all these gorgeous women. I think the average American is more attractive than the average Brazilian. Most people here are overweight, but insist on wearing tight belly shirts or, when at the beach, thongs. Huh.

3. It is a universal fact that old people cannot drive.

4. Half of Shakespeare's stories are about the same thing. However, its nice to know that not being able to recognize someone in costume goes all the way back to the Elizabethan period. Now you dont have to feel bad for not recognizing Superman, Metropolis. Congrats.

5. I want Paul the Octopus as a pet so that he will tell me my future and win me money. Also, we should all consider him the real winner of the world cup, considering he technically had a 100% track record, which is more than Spain. And he is awesome.

6. I AM BORED.

7. David Sedaris is a genius. Everyone should read his books. Thank you Katie Middleton for encouraging me to do so in the first place. I just finished "When you are engulfed in flames" and lerved it.

8. Typing on these Brazilian keyboards is so annoying!!! Why is the apostrophy in the top left hand corner?!?!?

9. I am just trying to reach 10 because its my VB number and some of my favorite football players number and its just a nice round number.

10. I have my first Portuguese class tomorrow!!! Whoaoaoaoaoaooaoaoaoa. I think I will also buy some goggles so that I can do laps in the new work out place Im going to.

Okayy well I am sufficiently OUT of anything worth writing. So if youre super bored, like me, contact me! Write on my wall! Leave me a comment! Lets be friends! YAY! bye.

Paranoia in Translation

Its not uncommon to feel like people are talking about you, or maybe staring at you. This paranoia is heightened 5 times over when youre in a foreign country and you have no idea what anyones talking about. Two people could be sitting right next to you saying "Can you believe the nerve of that girl?" or "Look at the way she got dressed this morning. Especially ugly today Id say." And you would have no idea! Despite however many words you pick up in the conversation that tell you they arent talking about you, the nagging feeling still exists.

I know for sure that whenever I see my Grandma shes talking about me. She thinks I dont eat enough, she cant get the stain from the paint I spilled on my pants off. I gave up trying to explain that its acryllic so it wont come off, and I dont plan on wearing those sweatpants anywhere important anyways. When she talks to me, I dont understand a word she says. When I tell her I dont understand she speaks slower and slower until eventually I have to wait a minute for the words to come out of her mouth. I dont want to be a sass, but I really wish I could just say in Portuguese "I can hear you! Pick a different word that I know!" After a while, she cant possibly say the word slower than she has, so she resorts to hand motions. Those usually dont help though because her hand motions all look remarkably similar. She waves her hands about her face, like a child begging for Tinkerbell to come back to life. Sometimes she blinks her eyes which can mean either tired, hungry, cold, or hot. I guess based on the situation, or I just say yes or no, depending on how Im feeling at the moment.

I can be slightly reassured though, because I know she probably feels the same way if she hears me speak in English. For that reason, I cut down on English a lot, if not totally. But since I cant speak Portuguese, Ive resorted to a series of Helen Keller like grunts. They seem to get the job done. I point at the juice and give an inquiring tone to my non-word and suddenly, Boom. Someones handing the juice to me. This kind of makes me feel more like a Caliban than I would prefer, but thats alright for now.

I am currently watching the world cup final and have decided that my second favorite thing about this world cup (behind Paul the Octopus) is Puyol's hair.
Spain is controlling the game right now. I wont deny the sinister part of my brain the joy of seeing the Netherlands frustrated after beating Brazil. This game is pretty aggressive though...30 minutes in and maybe 5 yellow cards!

Anyway, hopefully soon you will hear more from me and I am even more hopeful that I will hear from you!

A Sedaris-esque Name Dissection

I've never liked my last name. It's too close to the word custodian. In the back of my mind, I felt like the custodian connection was actually a prophecy. Surely, I would be destined to be a janitor for the rest of my life, just as someone with the last name Black should expect to be black one day. Although no one ever made the connection to my face, I always felt like that was the joke behind my back, that the people who didn't like me gathered together and made infinite puns about myself collecting mounds of trash and being it too. Maybe no one ever said it to my face because it's too obvious. Have I surrounded myself with creative people, or with people who are actually too nice to say something like that? Probably creative.

My recent trip to Brazil, however, has taught me to respect my last name in ways I hadn't anticipated. The first reason is rather pretentious, but I won't pretend I don't enjoy it. My last name has an accent! It's Custódio! What was once a lowly janitor has blossomed into a jungle medicine woman or a Spanish bull fighter! I know it's minor, but I enjoy knowing that all this time, I was right to say CustAHdio and not CusTOEdio. The next time someone says that, I will certainly point out that there is an accent, you ignorant, ignorant person.

The next reason I began to love my name comes from the Portuguese dictionary. According to my pocket version, "custódio" is an adjective meaning "guardian angel." I don't this is amazing for religious reasons. Rather than a normal angel stalking people to make sure they're okay, I imagine something out of an apocalypse movie, where humanity's last hope lies in a ripped, fallen angel with a firey sword and wicked catchphrases.

Despite being bored to death every Sunday for 17 years of my life at a church of the same name, St. Joan of Arc is my favorite saint. She exemplifies what it is to be courageous and to do what you believe is right with any means necessary. She's not one of those saints who was just lucky and had toast that happened to burn with Jesus' face on it. She cut off her hair and rode into battle. She is my real life example of how I picture a guardian angel.

I'd like to think that if guardian angels exist, she would be mine, engaging in a constant, epic battle between good and evil all around me. Much better than a janitor sweeping up your tracks.

Futebol Commercials!

I have recently discovered two things:
1. Apparently blogger changes languages automatically according to the country you're in.
2. The only celebrities in Brasil are soccer players (and Gisele Bundchen). Every commercial is dedicated to the World Cup and the more famous players endorse 2 or 3 products each. I'll post a few to show you what I mean!









There are a few others, but I can't find the videos on Youtube.

Oh my god....this kid!!!

WATCH THIS VIDEO AND VOTE FOR HIM!!!

Oprah is giving away a tv show and this is one of the applicants. He has cerebral palsy and he is seriously HILARIOUS!!! Hear him out and VOTE!!

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=5615&promo_id=1

So I was reading this survey...

and it said the two countries with the most beautiful people are the US and Brazil. In theory...shouldn't I be gorgeous? Hhaha

Anyway, it was a pretty good day! I actually forced myself to get out of bed and watch the US game. I'm so glad I did! It was such an amazing game. I am so proud of our boys! We just need to learn how to play well in the first half because a second half run won't cut it with top teams. They can probably beat Ghana, which is really exciting! I don't know if we've ever even gotten that far in the tournament!

Did anyone see Bill Clinton there? Ummmmm. Pilf.

My mom and I also went to Target. I am on a quest to find books for the Brazil trip. It was rough getting her to spend $12 on a Sedaris book, but she finally conceded!

Oh and can we please talk about swim suits these days?! Does anyone feel comfortable in such little fabric? I hate to sound like a prude, but I don't think the manufacturers of these things are thinking about girls of all body types. They're aiming for models and everyone else has to deal. That's not fair. Us J-Lo types can barely fit in a large bottom! Seriously. Maybe it's just Target though. Are there more conscious stores out there? I digress. I got a blue bikini that will be ultra conservative for the beaches of Brazil...meaning, it's not a thong.

New Jacket!

Today I got this amazing Brasil jacket! I love it!

The next few days will be very busy! I have to prepare for my trip. I still need a lot of things. Both the US and England play tomorrow as well. Their group is a mess so wins are essential!!! Should be great!

WTFPeople&Oil

If you have watched the news or been in this world AT ALL for the past few months, you know about the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Oil is STILL gushing into the gulf at a rate of thousands of barrels a day, meanwhile the people who rely on the Gulf for their entire livelihoods are now unemployed and the ecosystem is completely obliterated. This is no joke. It's an ongoing crisis, and my impression was that people all over the US cared about it.

Imagine my surprise when I saw a CNN poll that asked the following: Would you donate time or money to help fight the Gulf oil disaster?

As I am posting this, the answers are as follows:

Yes
51%
108678
No
49%
102674

Umm...Are you joking? 49% of Americans would not donate time OR money to help fight this? I can understand time. But come on. After the earthquake in Haiti, America rallied to help that country. We even had a celebrity phoneathon. All we have for this is Kevin Costner making up science and James Cameron making underwater robots. We should be looking out for our people and animals on the coast and be treating this crisis with the same urgency. This isn't a little problem and it's going to take everyone's participation to fix it whether you live in the Gulf area or on a farm somewhere in Nebraska.

Sorry. Done ranting. But what do you think?

A Worthy Victory

Today Brazil showed all the other teams at the World Cup what it's about. It was nice to see a team with expectations live up to them. Not many teams have been doing that (cough England, Spain, France, Italy cough). I was so happy for Luis Fabiano! He finally gained some scoring confidence back and led us to victory! Elano has been playing really well too. Thankfully, he's in good health after that terrible attempt at a steal by the Ivory Coast.

However, the whole Kaka situation is quite troublesome. I don't think that his absence will trouble Brazil too much in the Portugal game, but I was disappointed with the way he acted on the field today. He is usually a very composed player, so the first yellow card from fighting came as a huge surprise. He didn't deserve the second yellow card, but he set himself up with the first one. Ps, has anyone ever seen WORSE acting than Ivory Coast? Kaka barely touched him in the stomach and he fell over clutching his face. What an idiot.

ANYWAYS. I am finally learning more about my Brazil trip! I will spend the first week with my aunt in Sao Paulo, then a week in Rio, then back to Sao Paulo to stay with my grandma. It should be a lot of fun. My dad and I travel down together but will split up initially. He'll be in Belo Horizonte for the first week.

Speaking of him, a universal happy father's day to you all. We celebrated with lots of food and, of course, the game. I hope everyone is well. Hope to hear from you all soon.

CHER CHER CHER CHER

OH



MY



GAY



YOU GUYS. The Cher show was absolutely the coolest show ever. Ever. It was a great conclusion to probably my favorite day of the year. Let me take you through my adventure from the beginning:

We stopped in Cedar City, UT (about 4 hours south of Salt Lake) to watch the Brazil game at Chile's. It was a little bit of a lackluster performance, but I couldn't have been happier that we rallied in the second half to win.

I don't remember what time we arrived in Vegas, but I do remember how surprised I was at the utter randomness of Vegas. It is in the middle of nowhere. Desert desert desert Vegas desert desert. Anyway, Caesar's Palace is so beautiful. It's HUGE and very intricate in terms of detail. Columns everywhere, replicas of famous Roman art...We ended up having to walk through the casino to get to the registration desk. The main lobby is awesome too - best shown in the Hangover haha. We finally made our way to our room. The quality wasn't too great, but we probably paid for the cheapest possible room since we got a package deal.

After settling in, we headed back downstairs to the casino area/theater for the show. A bunch of Cher's famous outfits were on display (ex from the Oscars - pictured above, Sonny and Cher etc). She's pretty tall, but SO tiny! In addition to exploring the outfits, we also explored the Cher Boutique which is basically an entire store of Cher items. Do you want Cher candles? They have em. Do you want a wifebeater that says "Flamboyant Gentleman?" They have it.

Finally, we headed into the theater. Our tickets were for the second mezzanine, which is the equivalent of NOSEBLEEDS. We wound our way to the top floor and asked the usher which door to enter. Rather than showing us, he asked us if we wanted AN UPGRADE!!!!! He gave us two new tickets for rear orchestra, 20-30 ROWS FROM THE STAGE. Ummm...I don't think there has been a greater win in human history.

Okay, so you walk in, and there is a screen with stars and asteroids flying everywhere, kind of like the screen saver except WAY more awesome. The show started a little late, but um. It's Cher. I'll wait. So - the music starts, Cher descends from the air in a little cage wearing a crazy awesome spiky, sparkly headdress. Won.Der.Ful. She talked to the audience for a little bit. She's hilarious and she knows she can do whatever she wants. She confronted the reluctant, straight men by saying she bet they couldn't wait for the "crazy old bitch" to be done so they could gamble hahah. Oh Cher. You legend you.

The whole show was incredible. She changed her wardrobe at least 15 times. She wore the classic Half Breed garb, Gypsy, sparkly headdress, Christmas light coat... They were all so beautiful and ornate. The show takes you on the journey of Cher's career, starting with Sonny and Cher. In between all of her costume changes, clips of the Sonny and Cher show, her movies, what have you. They were all so cute and amazing! She actually sang a duet with a video of Sonny and it was so touching. If I were her, I think that portion of the show would constantly depress me. Being reminded of him would be really hard. However, she summed up my feelings with her rendition of "Love Hurts." The ending was great. "Believe" and "If I could turn back time". Everyone stood on their feet and sang along.

It was seriously so amazing to see her in concert. She sang the whole show and sounded fantastic. Not to mention that she has a bangin bod and she's 64. You sort of forget about all that she has accomplished in her career just because she's Cher and you know she's a superstar. This woman has an Oscar, a Grammy, an Emmy, and a Golden Globe (upon probably hundreds of other awards). She's the second most successful female recording artist in history and is the ONLY recording artist to have a #1 song in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. Plus, she's fabulous. Duh.

As you can tell, I loved the day. I was in shock afterward haha. My mom and I then just walked around the strip. I never thought I would like Vegas, but I actually really do. It's such a great place to see so many shows that you couldn't see anywhere else. I love how it's decorated too. A touch of Paris and a little bit of Rome in the desert. I definitely want the chance to go back. I'd see Cher again in a heartbeat.

A few updates

Yes, I know. I haven't been writing about the World Cup. That's because I have been too busy lazing around and doing nothing. I'm sorry. So far, in my opinion, there hasn't been too much to write about anyway. Germany performed fantastically and no one in the world wants to have the baggage that England's Keeper has. That's pretty much it so far. I'm pretty disappointed with the performances of other top contenders for the cup. However, a lot of good teams still have to play (Brazil, Spain) so we'll see.

TOMORROW my mom and I are driving to Vegas for the Cher concert!!!!!!! Unfortunately, tomorrow is also Group G's first day of playing. I am going to miss the Portugal vs Ivory Coast game, which is a huge shame because both of those teams have top quality players I don't want to miss. However, we will be making a planned stop in a Chile's restaurant 4 hours South of Salt Lake City JUST so we can watch Brazil play! Yes. We do make special stops for soccer games in my family.

Tomorrow also marks the 10 day countdown to my Brazil trip!!!! YAYYYY!!!!

Ps: Does anyone remember how cool American Girl Dolls were?!

World Cup Day 1

I am officially starting the World Cup portion of this blog, which will consist mainly of two topics: Player of the Day and Good Looking Discovery of the Day. Don't lie, it's half the reason you like soccer too.

Congratulations to South Africa for their tie with Mexico!!! I loved seeing the people of South Africa rallying behind their team. I especially loved seeing Desmond Tutu jumping around in the stands with his precious little South Africa beanie on...Which is why I am actually breaking my Player of the Day rule on its first day. Oh well. This is my blog. I'll do what I want.

In that case, Desmond Tutu is my player of the day. He is just too precious (and since both games tied, no team necessarily outshone anyone else).



As for my Looker of the Day, I choose Yoann Gourcuff - midfielder, France. Currently plays for Bordeaux. Nice.



France underperformed today. It was disappointing, but Uruguay had some solid defense. It wasn't a great game until Henry came in. Booo.

Keywords: Reagan, Small Government, Jesus

Today, I stepped out of my box. I forced my mother to attend the "Get Motivated Business Seminar," a day full of notable and motivational speakers with one thing in common: conservatism. As you know, I am not exactly conservative. In fact, I'm not conservative at all. My whole life, I have attended endless "liberal" events and have really loved each of them. But I felt like my view of the political spectrum was incomplete. So when I saw the advertisement for this seminar, I knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime.
The seminar took place in the stadium where the Utah Jazz play and although people filtered in and out all day, it is safe to say that there were at least 15,000 people there. The seminar was targeted at businesses, so my mom and I originally thought we'd have to fake a business. We kind of did - our tickets said that we were from Issy Inc (a card company I made in maybe 3rd grade as alternative to Hallmark). But as it turned out, most people were there for personal motivation and weren't with companies at all.
My mom and I arrived while the host for the day was explaining how everything was going to work. She mentioned some of the speakers we would hear from throughout the day. Now, I have to be completely honest - I went to that seminar for 2 people: Colin Powell and Sarah Palin...obviously for different reasons. The newspaper had previously announced that Palin would be speaking via satellite so that had already dampened my mood. Plus, the host really annoyed me. She had on a gold sequin dress and 80s hair. Gag.
However, my spirits quickly picked up when she introduced Colin Powell as the first speaker! It was a pleasant surprise because they didn't tell us the order of the speakers. I really really respect Colin Powell. I think he's an incredibly intelligent and brave man. I have to really forgive him for some issues during the Iraq War, but otherwise, he is such an amazing, diplomatic figure. His speech disappointed me a little. He was trying to be really funny, but I LIKE stern, serious Colin Powell. However, it wasn't a bad speech by any means. He spoke a lot about globalization and his past. Overall, I liked it! It was just nice to see him!
Next, John Walsh, the host of Americas Most Wanted, spoke. Interesting, but not relevant to my story. Then more random people spoke, and I was ready to leave because I had no incentive since Sarah wasn't even going to be there...Until the host announced they had changed their plans and now she would be here LIVE. WIN.
Then Rudy Giuliani spoke. I respect Giuliani for what he did on and after 9/11, and for reducing crime in NYC. His speech wasn't too bad. He had some interesting things to say about how Churchill inspired him. He also encouraged people to read (yay)! However, he made the most political statements out of all of the politicians that spoke. Some of his claims were also a bit exaggerated. He said Obama warned people against using ipods and new technology in a commencement speech, but I just researched the speech and Obama actually made incredibly similar points in his speech as Giuliani did in his (that sometimes too much information isn't beneficial). He also said that everyone needs to go out and buy an ipod and a blackberry and a computer. I agree that those things are incredible, but it immediately struck me that he did not address the fact that some people simply cannot afford those things. Overall, it wasn't too bad of a speech. Politically charged, but it's to be expected.
The next significant speaker was Mitt Romney who spoke via satellite. He also made some random claims about Obama that really aren't true (that he apologized to the world for America...what?!). To be honest, I zoned out for a lot of his speech. He spoke a lot about his business ventures, god, and so on. Mitt is definitely an attractive man, but he left me flat inspirationally speaking. I'm sure part of that was the satellite. Again, overall it really wasn't a bad speech. You can really tell he's passionate about what he does, which is always nice to see.
Next Apollo Anton Ohno spoke. Okay, so he's not a politician (or conservative? do we know?), but he was definitely my favorite speaker of the day. Did you know he can leg press almost 2,000 lbs?! I know, crazy. As an athlete, I felt like I could really relate to his goals and how he felt that the process of preparation is what's really important. He knows it's about work, not random idealist stuff that only works for some people.
THEN the crowning moment, PPAAALLIIINNNN. I must add that Todd and Piper were there, for the record, at least I'm pretty sure it was them. We were in the nosebleeds. Here's why Sarah Palin surprised me - she did not mention politics at all. I think the most political thing she said was "media" or maybe when she made a joke about writing things on her hand. But that's it. Honestly, it was a little disappointing because I was hoping she would say something crazy and out there I could laugh at, but no go. Pity. However, she did get a few tag lines in which were hilarious and Fey-esque. Anyway, her whole speech was about how she was a high school athlete and how they won the state title for basketball. She was also the ONLY person to speak who used a podium or a script. She pretty much read her whole speech, and half of what she did read were quotes from John Wooden, not her own writing. Still, I am not disappointed, because she's Sarah Palin. She can do whatever she wants nowadays. She's a hot ticket! It was definitely worth it. How many people can claim they heard Sarah Palin say Wasilla, IN PERSON? Also I kind of have to thank her for helping make my Tina more famous. That's kinda mean. Sorry Sarah.
I think I reached my goal for today's experience, in that I learned a lot about the conservative political culture. I learned that there are three things that will make a stadium full of conservatives cheer, no matter how many times you say them: Reagan, small government, and Jesus (hence the title). Of course that is pretty much the exact opposite of every rally I have ever been to. Yes, it was a little annoying hearing about how government should be small all day, and as a non religious person, the constant devotion to Jesus also got on my nerves. Thankfully we're in Salt Lake and the chances of finding more people like me, or even Muslims, Hindus, or other religions is very very minimal so that probably didn't offend anybody. I learned that conservatives really don't want to be like Europe. I think that the flag is more prevalent in conservative rallies. They also like to point out how great America is more than liberals do. I think natural cynicism sort of comes with being liberal. We don't speak as positive in general as conservatives do. The seminar actually motivated me too (!), although, not for the reason it meant to. Hearing people I disagree with but admire for certain things has motivated me to beat them. I know that sounds belligerent, I don't mean it to. It's just that they made me realize I have to work THAT much harder to work for things I believe in so that the things I didn't like in their speeches never come true. Anyways, it was a really different, interesting, and enlightening day. No regrets...well maybe wearing more comfortable shoes.

Shopping Win!

Yesterday my mom and I went to an outlet mall and get this: I got 6 items (3 from Gap, 1 from Adidas, and 2 from Banana Republic) all for $50!!! There are some wicked deals right now, because normally, ONE thing from Banana Republic would be $50. Yay deals!

Every Drag Queen's Dream

I am officially seeing CHER LIVE IN CONCERT in Las Vegas on June 15th! AHHHH!!!!!! She is so amazing. I feel so privileged to see such a legend! She's not only a legend but also a crazy good entertainer. She knows how to put on a good show. I cannot wait. This is going to be such an amazing experience, because in addition to seeing the wonderful and fabulous Cher, I will be staying here:



That's right, Caesar's Palace will host both Cher and myself that night. How brilliant is that?! I never really imagined myself going to Vegas. I wrote it off because I always considered it a place where people just went for the casinos and getting wasted, neither of which are my cup of tea. But recently, I've begun to realize the amazing entertainment opportunities there, only 6 hours from Salt Lake. I mean, Bette Midler is there too!!! Anyway, it will be really fun to see all the lights and get a brief taste of what it's like there. I leave you with a picture of Cher, so that you can see the amazingness that awaits me!

WTFSupreme Court

If I have this story right, it appears that you now have to declare that you are using your Miranda Rights when you're being arrested. So for example, you have the right to remain silent. Normally, you could just remain silent. But now, you have to say "I AM REMAINING SILENT" or something like that. If I got this wrong, let me know. But as far as I understand this new Supreme Court ruling, I think it's absolutely ridiculous. This Supreme Court is crazy! Remain silent while talking and corporations are people with rights. Ummm...Please.

Random notes: I found 2 things in Salt Lake that I love! One is in the grocery store oddly enough. You know how the vegetables are watered every so often with a little sprinkler? Well before the sprinkler turns on, it plays a recording of a thunderstorm! It's kind of adorable. I don't know why I like that so much. The other thing is in the library. Okay, the actual library SUCKS. The book selection is absolutely minimal and there are literally NO news magazines, only allure and OK and family living and random mags like that. There are more romance novels than any other genre of book. You get the idea: selection is poor. BUT the way you check out books is so cool. There is just a little black pad, and you put your pile of books on it, and the computer suddenly knows what you are checking out! I had my books stacked on it and it got all of them without the books even touching it! It was so cool. No scanning, no nothing. LIKE MAGIC.

We Built This City

ON ROCK AND ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL.

I am slightly obsessed with that song right now. I don't know why. Grace Slick didn't even like it. She also didn't like Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (another Starship song) because "what if you got hit by a bus or something?" hahaha

Finally bought my tickets for BRAZIL! I am leaving June 25th with meu pai! Very very excited, but I have a lot of work to do before I go.

Which leads me perfectly to my next point: June is going to be MY month. I plan on really make this month count. I need to be really diligent about learning Portuguese and working out (for two reasons - in preparation for Brazil and so that I can hopefully play vb in the fall, considering I probably won't have touched a ball all summer).

Also - I figured out why I didn't like the new Alice in Wonderland movie. I know, late, but regardless. Alice really lost her spark. All her curiosity was gone. She did most of what she did just because she felt obligated and thought she was asleep. Boo. I need to read the books now to make sure it was just the writing/acting and not Lewis Carrol's fault.
(ps: Grace Potter did a cover of White Rabbit for the new Alice in Wonderland soundtrack, "Almost Alice"...squawk!)

ZOOOO

Today, we went to the Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake. It's kind of unfair for most zoos I go to across the country because I always compare them to the Columbus Zoo, which apparently is one of (if not the) best zoos in the country. The Hogle Zoo is much smaller than Columbus. We saw everything after almost an hour and a half. It is landlocked by mountains though. Again, advantage Ohio for being in the Great Plains in the middle of nowhere.

This is weird, but I think my favorite discovery was the black swan. It's so exotic and I'd never seen one before. They are swans with attitude. I like it. This zoo alo had the most random animals. There were a bunch of different kinds of wild cats that could honestly pass as house pets. Of course, they were adorable, but I don't think that I would necessarily have chosen them if I had my own zoo.



The giraffes impressed me the most. The viewing area was on a hill so that you could be at eye level with them (16 ft tall). One came so close to the edge and started licking a pole with its ginormous black tongue. Apparently, their tongues can be 18 inches long. Gross. Anyway, my mom told me that I would be a giraffe if I were an animal. I guess it's pretty accurate. I told her she would be an orangutan....ALSO accurate.



In other news, Crime and Punishment is getting really good. I am actually excited to see what happens next! I guess that's because he just murdered two people. And that's not giving anything away really because it's the basis for the entire plot.

Today I didn't leave the house

And it's not the first time that has happened. Yeah I know. I live an exciting life.

I guess there is good news however. I am getting much better at playing my ukulele. It kind of sounds like I know what I am doing, even if I don't necessarily do. I also received my new passport today, only a week after I submitted it for renewal. In case you weren't aware, a week is like superhuman fast for passports. On Tuesday, I am turning in my application for my Brazilian visa. I'll have it by the end of the month, meaning I'll be in Brazil by the end of June or the first week of July. Also, TCM is showing crazy good war movies all weekend because of Memorial Day. Score.

Bad News? U2 canceled their concert because Bono needs emergency back surgery. Get well soon Bono (even though I am still mad I can't go to the concert now). ANND also the fact that I literally did nothing today is also a little sad. I guess I did work on my paint by numbers, but really. What good does that do me? If you have any suggestions about what I should do in my spare time, let me know. I ache for ideas. Alright well...more later I suppose.

Listen to this

Postcards from Italy by Beirut

Tour of my room!

WTFSnow

IT SNOWED TODAY.
I WOKE UP, AND EVERYTHING WAS COVERED WITH WHITE.

Why must you do this to me, Salt Lake? Though I must thank you for melting all of it by noon, it was quite alarming to see snow in late May.

In other news: Good day. Yoga, bought a paint by numbers, finished Maia's shoes!!! I would post pics but I don't want to ruin the surprise!

Blerg!

Summer training for volleyball sucks for a couple reasons:

1. The altitude change has really affected my running. I know, it's a lame excuse. But it's true.

2. I have never ever seen a track to run on here. The gym I'm going to doesn't have one. AND HELLZ NAH am I running up these hills.

3. IF I do make it to Brazil, what the heck am I supposed to do then? Anyone?

Oh poo. This is lame, stinks even!

Books!

Please Please Please
Suggest some books I can read this summer
Comment with your suggestions and why I should read them!

Little Sahara

Today began early (for me at least), 8 am. We suited up in some old clothes and met my dad's coworker, Ron, downtown so that we could follow him to the Little Sahara desert just an hour and a half outside of the city. He brought three of his four wheelers for all of us to ride on.

So, after a long ride/good nap, we arrived at the Little Sahara. I don't remember exactly what I was expecting, but I am sure these dunes surpassed my expectations. They were HUGE. One giant hill stood in the forefront of what seemed like endless dunes. Think Sex and the City 2 trailer. It was kind of like that. The weather was gorgeous as well. Blue skies, 60 something - just cool enough that a sweatshirt would suffice. The wind wasn't even active enough to blow the sand everywhere.

Anyway, after a quick lesson from Ron, I was off....and was promptly stuck 2 minutes later. Thankfully, he saved me from being stranded in the sand on the top of a wimpy dune for hours. After a few more runs, I gained some confidence. My dad and I followed each other around on some of the smaller dunes on the edges, although my dad had a harder time controlling his bike (is that the right word?) so we didn't stay out long. Ron volunteered to take us around to the back of the mountain where there were even more dunes and a little scenic path. Again, dad couldn't really handle the bike so Ron took me on a tour. It was SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I really wanted to pause and do a Lawrence of Arabia reenactment...but however awesome that would have been, I probably would have been hit by some kind of vehicle. Riding around out there was pretty awesome. It's almost like being on a roller coaster, even though I think roller coasters are technically more safe (Ron said people die on the dunes because a lot of people drink beforehand and don't wear helmets...smart).

Eventually, we had to come back to our little abode. I was actually quite tired after all the riding around. Although, I don't know why. It's not like you're really doing anything. Maybe it was the sun. But I digress. It was such a fun day! Hopefully more like it to come!



I am a motocross champion. No big deal.

Top 20 Disney Characters

When randomly searching the internet the other day, I came across this guy's top 20 favorite Disney characters. Inspired, I decided to make one of my own. Obviously, it's all subjective. Here is the link for his list if you're interested: http://lordwhatsmymotivation.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/top-20-coolest-disney-characters-of-all-time/

20. Rolly - 101 Dalmatians
"I'm hungry! I'm hungry mother!"



Every time I hear Rolly say he's hungry, I laugh. It's adorable. Also, Perdita, your puppy is hungry. Get on that.

19. Wiggins - Pocahontas
"I....I....I made it myself!"



Closeted gay assistant. Win.

18. Thomas O'Malley - The Aristocats
"I'm Abraham deLacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley"



This is one charismatic cat. You gotta respect a guy that goes for a single mom. Plus, he's jazzy and street smart...and friends with an Asian Siamese.

17. Hades - Hercules
"Memo to me: Mame you after my meeting."



First of all, I legitimately wanted fire for hair after seeing Hercules. Hades rocks it. And check out his chin! Anyway, Hades has an amazing sense of humor. Apart from the whole "I want to rule the world" thing, I think we could be friends.

16. Sebastian - The Little Mermaid
"Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there."



Sure, he can be a little preachy. But he's also capable of gathering a full fish symphony in a matter of seconds. Show me one other Jamaican crab capable of doing that.

15. Mushu - Mulan
"If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright. DOWN BESSIE."



Disney once again utilizes the brilliant Eddie Murphy to make this character hilarious. There's no question he's witty, maybe a little obnoxious, but entertaining.

14. Ursula - The Little Mermaid
"Don't forget the importance of body language!"



Literally half of the reason I like Ursula is her voice. It's so deliciously raspy and evil. And if she accomplishes anything in this movie, it's that she exposes Eric for being shallow enough to pick women based on their voices.

13. Basil of Baker Street - The Great Mouse Detective
"It's elementary, my dear Dawson."



Basil is a mouse Sherlock Holmes. And I don't know about you, but watching a British man solve mysteries is kinda hot. Alright, so he's a mouse. I just consider him Robert Downey Jr. in mouse form

12. Squirt - Finding Nemo
"DUUUDE!"



Squirt is simply the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Period.

11. Mrs. Potts - Beauty and the Beast
"Into the cupboard with you now Chip!"



Mrs. Potts is one of those characters that you want to tuck you into bed at night. She is so heartwarming. Of course, she is voiced by the wonderful Angela Lansbury who makes the Beauty and the Beast song legendary.

10. Timon and Pumba - The Lion King
"What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?"



Timon and Pumba provide the much needed comic relief in the Lion King. They also save Simba, so technically, without them, there would be no movie. Also - Nathan Lane. Nathan. Lane.

9. Alice - Alice in Wonderland
"I give myself good advice, but I very seldom follow it."



Alice is often overlooked because this movie isn't quite that popular these days. However, I do think there is something about Alice that deserves props. First of all, she's an adventurer. She was bored with her life and when she finally got somewhere a little more exciting, she pushed on with admirable curiosity. I think it's a good lesson - Make your own adventures!

8. Pocahontas - Duh




Pocahontas is pretty badass. Whatever - I'll date who I want! It's always nice to see strong women who have awesome hair...and can learn English in 2 seconds.

7. Dory - Finding Nemo
"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy."



Finding a quote for Dory was really difficult because there are seriously so many good ones. Ellen DeGeneres brings this amazing character to life to create, in my opinion, the funniest character of every Disney movie. The other aspect of Dory that is so amazing though is her loyalty to her cause. Even though she can't always remember it, she sticks with Marlin every step of the way.

6. Mulan - Again, Obvs



I think Mulan is the only Disney princess who kills people. Nuff said.

5. Jasmine - Aladdin



What I like about Jasmine is her need to be in the real world. She's not satisfied being kept in a castle all day long. No. She jumps over the wall to get to know about real people. AND she could be some snobby princess who needs to marry a prince. She's okay with the fact that Aladdin is a "street rat," which is pretty cool. Plus, she is gorgeous and rocks those hips.

4. Belle - Beauty and the Beast



Belle reps the brunettes! I like that Belle is smart and loves to read. Even though her town is full of idiots, and she's obviously smarter than them, she doesn't flaunt it either. She springs to her dad's rescue, battles wolves, deals with angry Beast, and creates a new, loving Beast who can be loved despite his looks. I'd say those are some pretty awesome accomplishments for one movie.

3. Mufasa - The Lion King
"I'm only brave when I have to be."



I want Mufasa to be President of the United States. It seems like nothing ever went wrong under his control. He is so valiant when he rescues his son (twice) and so precious when he shows Simba his kingdom. ANNNDD he has the best voice known to man. God bless James Earl Jones.

2. Maleficent - Sleeping Beauty
"Now you shall deal with me, oh prince. And all the powers of hell!"



Hands down: best. villain. ever. That laugh. Those angry rants. Wondrous. No villain today could get away with some of the things she said...mainly because no kids today know what the word imbecile means. She turns into a dragon and is a party crasher. Ultimate bad ass.

1. Nala - The Lion King
"Pinned you again."



Yes - Nala is number one on my list. She's not the funniest, or the most prominent Disney character, but she has several qualities that made me pick her as my number one. First of all, she sticks with her intuition. She knows that Simba should be king and she will do anything to make sure that happens. She is loyal to her people (lions?) and goes way out of her way to make sure they eat. She's better than Simba at fighting - score girl power. She is always up for an adventure too. Yeah that's right, I wanna go to the Elephant Graveyard. What's up! AND finally, as evidenced above, she has a pretty awesome attitude.

And there you have it. My top 20 list. I hope you enjoyed it and please post a comment if you think I missed anyone important or if you have any more insight into the order of this list!

2 Observations

1. No one in Salt Lake City can drive. My mom passes them b/c they are too slow. If you've ever driven with my mom, you know that these people MUST be driving really slow.

2. There are no good alternative radio stations. Only country and pop.

I begin my friendship with Sarah Palin

My friends, on June 9th, Sarah Palin and I will become biffls. And by that I mean that I will be in a herd of people watching her speak.

I convinced my mom to come to some random business seminar downtown with me. It's only $5 to basically go and listen to people speak about their success. Guest speakers: Sarah Palin, Colin Powell, Apollo Anton Ohno, and Rudy Guiliani. I am legitimately excited about Colin Powell because he has a lot of really interesting things to say and he is so incredibly smart. But Sarah - she is the entertainment factor. I cannot wait to see what she comes up with. I mean, she knows so much about business. AND success.

Anyway, you're invited to our Halloween Party. We're both being Tina Fey.

House!

Anyone who watched the last episode of House - freak out with me. SUCH good writing. Loved it.

Today I attempted to do yoga. My mom took me to an senior citizen's community center where they offer free classes. In other words, I was definitely the outlier in terms of age in the class. Anyway, even though I am not very flexible, it was really relaxing. You can feel it in your whole body. I'll probably go back.

Played some ukulele today. I'm getting better ... It's pretty easy once it's tuned.

Hopefully I can load a few photos of the house soon.

Salt Lake

I am finally in Salt Lake City. The plane ride here was fine. The woman next to me was obese and spilled into my seat. She also smelled like balloon farts. For real.

It's a strange feeling being here though. I feel like at any minute, I will be going back to Ohio and doing all the things I usually do during the summer. Right now, I am at home, but I don't know where to find the bread, or my bathroom. I can't go anywhere because I don't know where anything is OR what the roads are called. It's just strange.

However, you cannot deny that Salt Lake is a beautiful city. Our backyard is literally mountainous. I cannot wait to go exploring!

Almost the worst day ever (and longest post ever)

Today, it seemed like any good fortune I had finally wore itself out. The day went from bad to good to worse to better all in a matter of hours.

My day began at approximately 9:01 when I received a text from Maia asking me if I was still going into Boston. We had planned the day before to take the 9 am bus and to meet each other at the bus stop. When I first read her text, I was so confused. Then I saw the time and my heart sank. I frantically called her as I ripped off my pajama pants and threw on some jeans. At 9:04, I was at the bus stop, one of the last people to board. I made it, much to my relief. I had an appointment set with the Brazilian consulate and if I missed it (1) I couldn't go to Brazil and (2) I would never hear the end of it from my dad.

So I am sitting on the bus when I finally realize that I am wearing a Mickey Mouse t shirt, a ragged hoody, and no bra. At first I was just thankful to be on the bus, but the more I thought about it, I was nervous that the people at the consulate would think I was absolute trash. I had a scheduled meeting right? I assumed I should look nice. So Maia, being both a god send and my size, suggested that she switch outfits. After we got off the T, we ran into Au Bon Pain, bought some muffins, and ran into the bathroom to switch outfits. It honestly must have been hilarious for bystanders. There were only two bathrooms and neither were designated for a specific sex. So they witnessed two college age girls, going into a bathroom while talking about muffins, and coming out in each others clothes. Nice.

SO THEN we finally arrived at the consulate at 10:20 am. Turns out, having a scheduled meeting means nothing in these places. It's more like a first come, first serve deal. And it also would have been perfectly acceptable for me to not have switched outfits because it would have been nicer than half of what other people were wearing. Oops. We waited in line and when we finally reached reception, I was given a number. They told me to wait for my number to be called, then go up to the window they call it from. Only one problem: they were calling the numbers in Portuguese. I know 1-10 in Portuguese, and to be honest, I don't even think I say them right. I had no confidence whatsoever that I would hear and distinguish "G-72" out of all the numbers called. I called my dad and made him say it a few times for me so that I could recognize it.

Not much happened for the next few hours, unless you count extreme boredom, Nancy Drew Mad Libs, and harassing Emily via text message. The point is, we waited FOR HOURS. Around 1:30 I asked someone when my number would be called and or if I had just missed it by accident. She said they were about to call 70, so I didn't have to wait long. Luckily, that lady ended up with my number so she called me in English. (By the way, I have to say: being unable to speak languages is probably the most frustrating thing in my opinion. I feel so helpless when I hear everyone talking and I am sitting there with no idea about what's going on...)

This is when it gets AWFUL. Okay, I will try to simplify this. Basically, the Brazilian passport that the embassy issued me in 2004 gave the wrong birthday. It said I was born March 6, 1997 (apparently, no one ever noticed this until now). I am sorry, but I do not want to be 13 again. Anyway, no one has any idea why this happened, but since it was wrong, the consulate needed confirmation of my age with Brazilian documentation. In other words, my American passport meant nothing to them. I don't have a Brazilian birth certificate either, so there was really nothing they could do for me. They called the embassy in Washington, and because I didn't register with them after my 18th birthday I am no longer a citizen.

That's right folks. I found out that I am no longer a dual citizen. First of all, that's crushing, especially because I have recently become really invested in finding out more about Brazilian culture. It also scared the living daylights out of me because my dad basically had to tell me that I probably wouldn't be going to Brazil anymore. That depressed me LIKE WHOA. The thought of an entire summer in Salt Lake City almost made me start crying in the middle of the consulate. I had been looking forward to this trip for a really really long time, and it seemed like all my hopes and dreams about how amazing it would be were slowly evaporating.

The woman at the consulate wasn't helping either because she was basically telling me everything I would have to do to register, and it seemed harder than going to hell and back. I would have to go to DC, find two witnesses, and provide a ton of documentation, which would take much more time than this summer would allow for. After she told me there was nothing more she could do, Maia and I left. No results after almost 5 hours of waiting. I almost wish I had slept in.

Very soon after, my dad called with encouraging news. Because I am over 18, I can travel with my American passport and a Brazilian Visa. So basically, I will just be going to Brazil as a tourist instead of a citizen. Even though I do have to start the whole process over again, it's reassuring to know that I have a back up plan and that things still may work out.

Maia and I also stopped at H&M where she got some white shoes for me to decorate. It's the least I can do after she accompanied me through today. I wouldn't have been anywhere without her. I owe her big time.

Sorry this is such a long post. There was just so much to rant about. Hopefully, everything will be fine. I go home tomorrow and I plan on watching Beauty and the Beast and snuggling with my kitties. Wunderbar.