Paranoia in Translation

Its not uncommon to feel like people are talking about you, or maybe staring at you. This paranoia is heightened 5 times over when youre in a foreign country and you have no idea what anyones talking about. Two people could be sitting right next to you saying "Can you believe the nerve of that girl?" or "Look at the way she got dressed this morning. Especially ugly today Id say." And you would have no idea! Despite however many words you pick up in the conversation that tell you they arent talking about you, the nagging feeling still exists.

I know for sure that whenever I see my Grandma shes talking about me. She thinks I dont eat enough, she cant get the stain from the paint I spilled on my pants off. I gave up trying to explain that its acryllic so it wont come off, and I dont plan on wearing those sweatpants anywhere important anyways. When she talks to me, I dont understand a word she says. When I tell her I dont understand she speaks slower and slower until eventually I have to wait a minute for the words to come out of her mouth. I dont want to be a sass, but I really wish I could just say in Portuguese "I can hear you! Pick a different word that I know!" After a while, she cant possibly say the word slower than she has, so she resorts to hand motions. Those usually dont help though because her hand motions all look remarkably similar. She waves her hands about her face, like a child begging for Tinkerbell to come back to life. Sometimes she blinks her eyes which can mean either tired, hungry, cold, or hot. I guess based on the situation, or I just say yes or no, depending on how Im feeling at the moment.

I can be slightly reassured though, because I know she probably feels the same way if she hears me speak in English. For that reason, I cut down on English a lot, if not totally. But since I cant speak Portuguese, Ive resorted to a series of Helen Keller like grunts. They seem to get the job done. I point at the juice and give an inquiring tone to my non-word and suddenly, Boom. Someones handing the juice to me. This kind of makes me feel more like a Caliban than I would prefer, but thats alright for now.

I am currently watching the world cup final and have decided that my second favorite thing about this world cup (behind Paul the Octopus) is Puyol's hair.
Spain is controlling the game right now. I wont deny the sinister part of my brain the joy of seeing the Netherlands frustrated after beating Brazil. This game is pretty aggressive though...30 minutes in and maybe 5 yellow cards!

Anyway, hopefully soon you will hear more from me and I am even more hopeful that I will hear from you!